an indulgent disaster of epic proportions: Rape Is Hilarious: Donald Glover Edition

November 28, 2011

an indulgent disaster of epic proportions: Rape Is Hilarious: Donald Glover Edition

I have a problem with Donald Glover. It revolves around that whole rape-as-a-punchline thing he does. I’m sure even as I type this that next to no one will give a shit and it’ll ultimately be swept under the rug as the Donald Glover Dick-Sucking Bandwagon rolls on by, but it legitimately bothers me. It’s not even like it’s a one-time thing with him. It that were the case, I probably wouldn’t care so much. I would just side-eye him and carry on. But no, he just keeps coming back to it. This guy has used rape as a punchline in every single endeavor that he’s undertaken. Doesn’t anyone notice this?

For starters, there’s his twitter, which served as the impetus for this post:

That just makes sense, right? Because when something annoys you, rape threats, however half-hearted and facetious, are the next logical step.

I don’t even know what to say this. It’s so ridiculously asinine– I just can’t.

There’s Bro Rape, starring Donald as Bro Rapist, in which he and the other dudebros from Derrick Comedy put on a mock-investigative report in order to bring attention to the the bro rape epidemic, but what they’re really mocking is rape in general because it’s a totally hilarious thing and should be treated as such.

He raps about rape in two of his songs. In “Put It in My Video” he brags:

I’m blowin’ up like my swagger on the Gaza
I’m writing movies where I’m making out with Aubrey Plaza
And homegirl my homegirl, it is not like that
But if she tried to rape me, I would not fight back

And again in “Not Going Back” he states:

That’s why these fuckin’ MCs want their asses back
Don’t you know that I’m a rapist, ask a track

Personally, I find the first example more problematic than the second. I don’t expect someone like Donald Glover to understand what’s wrong with saying, “If she tried to rape me, I would not fight back,” but it is so, so wrong. He’s obviously bought into the bullshit notion that not fighting back means you enjoy it. What’s worse, he’s perpetuating that bullshit notion. If what it comes down to is him wanting to fuck his hot friend, why not just say that? Why bring up rape in the first place? Donald Glover is not completely stupid. I’m sure he could’ve written some other lyrics. In the second example, he’s just being his douchetastic self, boasting about success he hasn’t earned and skills he doesn’t have. Why he needed to brag about being a rapist to do that, I’m not sure, but I’m betting it has something to do with him being a douche. Then again I don’t know what I expect from a dude who’s lyrics are rife with misogyny.

Before it was removed from YouTube as a result of a copyright claim, I had the chance to see a video of the stand-up portion of his iamdonald tour. I’m sure you’ve figured as much, but there are rape jokes there too. At one point he says that if someone tried to rape him, “they would have to be really tricky about it.” Oh, I see. Because rapists are usually upstanding gentlemen who are straightforward about their intentions, but in order to pull one past Donald Glover they would have to resort to trickery. Because he’s too smart/suspecting/discerning/whatever to be bamboozled by the usual rape methods. I see.

I know we live in a rape culture, but when are we as a society going to realize that rape jokes in stand-up are cliché? I’m aware that controversial topics have and will always be joked about in comedy, but so many comedians these days think rape is this super edgy topic and that by including rape jokes in their routine they are showing how fearless they are and that they are willing to push the envelope. Stop. Just stop it. Everybody is doing rape jokes these days. You aren’t pushing shit. At this point you’re just following the trend.

Then there’s this interview in which he says:

“I guess for a dude it’s never gonna be totally awful. You can’t really get raped unless it’s by a dude. If a girl forces sex on you it’s like, yeah, it was awful…but I had sex! I wasn’t in the mood…but I was hard.”

To all dudes out there who have been raped, don’t be bummed out about it. Just look on the bright side. You got laid! Focus on what’s really important. The pros outweigh the cons, at least according to Donald Glover. Honestly, it’s baffling how anyone could be this. damn. ignorant.

I don’t doubt for a second that Donald Glover is a nice guy. I’d even go so far as to say I suspect he is a Nice Guy®. But for all his self-awareness, he is still a misogynist douchebag (really, ladies, he just wants to be treated like a piece of meat) who chooses to perpetuate rape culture.

But I’m probably just taking it all too seriously. Donald Glover’s probably a nice guy and he’s probably never raped anyone, never would, and doesn’t condone it. They’re just jokes, right? Wrong. Jokes are supposed to be funny. Rape jokes don’t exist in a vacuum. They exist to minimize the experience of those who’ve suffered it and laugh at their trauma. Rape isn’t a punchline, asshole. Seriously, shut the fuck up, Donald Glover.